Monday, May 26, 2008

during my high school years, i was notorious for being the party girl, who didn't have a care in the world, and would do anything after a couple of drinks. after leaving high school, i, thankfully, quickly grew out of feeling the need to continuously impress others and simply began to live my life as i chose to, when i chose to, how i chose to. i am still the same girl, but have begun drinking and partying heavily again, making one or two not-so-good decisions. i completely adore all of the new people that have come in to my life, and how each of them has a different impact on me from the other....but i fear that if I continue with the on going good-times vibe of this, then I will end up back in the days that I was 17, crying because of the horrible things I had done while under the influence.

I witnessed a relationship break up, solely to due being intoxicated and not making the judgement call that maybe this isn't such a good idea. thankfully, i didn't personally have anything to do with this particular situation, but again, am afraid that if i continue at the speed i'm set at, cruising down this road, eventually i am going to meet that wall, and crash head first.

so - my decision here would be, leave these new people, these new friends, and go back to being lonely, bored and unhappy and have a guarantee of staying out of trouble....or, stick around, have the time of my life, and see what happens, risking the possibility of awakening the spirit of the crazy girl that lives inside of me. 

oh..the dilemma's of being twenty...

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