I stood at my window, looking at nothing in particular, wondering "Why does it have to be this way?" Dad has just come home from being at the cottage after deciding not to take part in our annual Good Friday festivities. Down the stairs, the replay button has been pressed on my parents favorite argument -if my life were a musical, this would be the main chorus. It is hard carrying the feelings that I do towards my father - I completely disapprove of everything he represents, yet at the same time, my greatest fear is for him to leave me forever. I hold my breath each time something upsets him, praying that it won't be what packs his bags. I am twenty years old and yet think that if I am on my best behavior, everything will be o.k.
Despite the everyday drama, the rest of my weekend was FABULOUS! Saturday night was filled with loud music, flashing lights, loads of drinks and great friends. After multiple cancelations, Sara and I finally made it our to the bar together, and I hope that it isn't nearly as long a wait until the next time we get downtown. Last night was again, full of old friends. While a small group of us huddled together in the cold stands of the arena, the rest playfully harassed each other on the ice. As we caught up on each other's lives, I couldn't help but smile. Looking around, I took it all in and appreciated our bond just a little bit more. Some of these faces, I knew, would be sitting at my wedding, and I theirs. We are a family - high disfunctional, yes - but none the less, a family, and no matter where we all are in life, we will always be there for each other. It is the most comforting feeling I have ever experienced. I love my frenchies. :)